People will always tell you HOW to be pregnant

One thing you hear constantly when you’re pregnant is, “when I was pregnant….” Usually this is followed by some sort of horror story about the time they went into labour in the middle of Woolworths and someone slipped on their broken waters. People need to remember that every pregnancy is different and just because you did something one way, it doesn’t mean doing it another way is wrong. I got my fair share of pregnancy shaming, but this is how my pregnancy went down.

October-November (1-2 months)

I have never been so sick in my life. I got hit hard with morning sickness. I would wake up in the morning and feel like death. Drive to school and all I could eat was dry wafer biscuits. After I had eventually told my boss (I had to tell him fairly early because I was due to go to Singapore and Malaysia but ended up having to send someone else (no immunisations for Malaria for preggo) he would laugh at me as I walked in the door. I didn’t have a great poker face in my staff room because I was constantly trying to keep it together in front of my classes. Don’t forget about the fatigue. Oh my God. I was like a walking zombie. Everyone said it would be over by the second trimester. They lied.

December-January (3-4 months)

School finished up for the year but unfortunately my morning sickness had not. I don’t even know why they call it morning sickness. That shit is ALL DAY sickness. What made matters worse was the fact that I can’t actually vomit unless I am gravely ill. No matter how many times I shoved my fingers down my throat to see if I could get myself to vomit to try and get some relief; it wouldn’t work. I even used a wooden spoon and pleaded with my Mum to try and put her fingers down my throat to see if it would work. Nothing. Nada. Just constant nausea. By the end of the school year I was 12 weeks but I had only told those closest to me and those that really needed to know at school.

Just before Christmas we announced our bundle of joy. I think I was around 14 weeks when I posted the video.

Needless to say, we got a lot of messages and phone calls after we posted it. Around the time this was happening, we also moved in our new house. Between Tristan, Mum, Grant, Erin and Werner I wasn’t allowed to do anything. I pretty much sat on the floor of the new house while every brought in boxes and did the heavy work. Christmas came and went and I started back at school for another year. Still bloody tired.

February-March (5-6 months)

By now I was definitely feeling pregnant, even though I didn’t really look it. We did however, find out the sex of our little one. It was my sister’s birthday so I thought I would surprise her with the colour of the baby’s sex in the cake. This took a LOT of organising and just as we got there my niece told my sister about the plan to surprise her with the colour of the baby’s sex in the cake. To say I was not pleased was an understatement. But it was a pretty great present for her, even if my niece made it a little less surprising.

My nephew however… he was not as excited about it being a girl. Sorry Julian.

April- May (7-8 months)

Finally, after months of people looking at me and not having the courage to ask, I started to look somewhat pregnant. Some people had even gone as far as to talk about my little bump and call it “weird”. Those people are dead to me. Judgmental people are my favourite. Said no one ever.

But by now I was starting to really feel pregnant. Little miss would constantly kick and move around. I remember her having hiccups around 4 times a day. Even now I miss those kicks and little jerks from when she was having one of her hiccup sessions. One thing I didn’t experience at this time (which I am SUPER thankful for) was the random people touching my belly. I think my face was usually enough of a deterrent to stop those wandering hands. Sometime resting bitch face and the added teacher stare can work in your favour. My waddle had really made itself known. Quite often kids would laugh and say how “cute” it was. I wasn’t feeling cute.

COVID had really started to get serious at this point and hospital appointments were changed to phone appointments and there was the threat of only one person being allowed in the delivery room. Anyone that knows me knows that I am super, crazy, ridiculously close to my Mum. I have always known that I wanted her in the delivery room when I had a baby. Knowing there was a chance that she wouldn’t be there scared the shit out of me.

June (9 months)

I was well and truly ready to have this little lady out by now. I had experienced super fat ankles and hands by now. I couldn’t wear any rings and I was often told to sit and put my feet up by the people I work with. This was often answered with “yeah yeah I will, I’m fine” but the nagging continued. One thing to know about me. The more you push an idea on me, the more likely I am to push back and ignore you. I’m sorry work friends. The stubborn trait definitely didn’t fade as I got fatter.

One thing I did really suffer with at this point was a muscle band I had in my stomach that pretty much cut me in half as it wouldn’t release. It was super uncomfortable and often I would complain about the tightness I felt. No matter how many baths I had, creams Tristan rubbed into the muscles and supportive bands I wore, it just wouldn’t release and caused me pain. None of the doctors knew what it was and my midwife Lauren was confused by it too but we just agreed to keep an eye on it.

I was due on the 26th of June and as we got closer to the date I got more antsy and excited about little Miss’ arrival. I think it was around 37-38 weeks when Lauren offered me my first stretch and sweep. For those that haven’t heard of it before, I’ll let you Google that one for yourself. With the tiny possibility that it would start my labour I was all for it. I was definitely fed up by now. But alas, nothing happened.

June 25th came around and still nothing, I had a hospital appointment and the doctor said that there wasn’t really any sign of a baby coming anytime soon so she told me to ask Lauren to book me in for an induction date. Here in Townsville they only let you go 10 days past your due date so the 7th of July was booked. I was going to go in early that morning and then hopefully have a baby by that evening. That was far too long to wait in my books.

July (9-10 months)

I. was. done. By now I was super over it. I was swollen and the waddle was ridiculous. I needed this baby out.

Around 6:30pm on the 3rd of July I felt something. I didn’t know what it was but it was something.