WARNING: This is a labour and birth story. If you are offended by words like stitches, blood, vomit and god forbid vagina, this is probably one to miss. You have been warned. Also, it’s really quite long.
I had asked Mum a few times how I would know that I was in labour. How would I know when I was having contractions? Would it be super obvious if my waters broke? Mum reassured me, “oh you’ll know when you’re in labour.” I still wasn’t 100% sure when it happened.
I was 41 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty huge. My sister had organised a BBQ at her house because my brother in law was going interstate for a couple of months for work. We’d had dinner and were just sitting around the table talking as we normally did. At around 6:30 I felt this pain in my stomach. I thought nothing of it, I had just eaten greasy BBQ food and I am prone to stomach aches. Around half an hour later I felt the same thing. Again, just thought it was my stomach. But then 10 minutes later I felt it again, it lasted a little longer this time. Then it happened again after a couple of minutes. By then my sisters and their cousin were starting to wonder whether or not I was having contractions.
I remember one of them asking me, “are you having contractions?” I think I answered with, “I don’t know? I’ve never had them before. Maybe?” I was told to start timing them, see how long it was between the pains. I did. They were around 2-3 minutes apart.
By then Tristan started stressing. They weren’t ridiculously painful but definitely uncomfortable. Between my sister’s feeling my belly as the pains came and then went again, and me wincing with the pain, Tristan really started to stress.
“They’re 2 minutes apart. The hospital said we need to go in when they’re 2 minutes apart!”
We grabbed our things and started heading towards Mum’s house. She lived closer to the hospital and my bags had been in the car since I was 35 weeks just to be sure. As we were in the car I called my midwife. Poor Lauren sounded like I had just woken her up. Because I could talk through my contractions she advised me to go home and try to relax through them before actually going into the hospital. We headed to Mum’s to be closer to the hospital and to have a little that support I think we both needed.
The contractions continued to come hard and fast. We decided to sleep at Mum’s just in case we had to get to the hospital in the middle of the night. Being the super supportive husband that Tristan is, he went home for me to get my pillow and chargers for our phones. In the 40 minutes he was gone, the contractions started to get a little out of control. As he got back, I told him it was definitely time to go in. Mum told us to call her when we knew what was happening.
We got to the hospital and made our way up to the birth suites. The midwives up there were amazing. I honestly cannot remember of the one that did my initial check but she was great. There was a first year student midwife following her around and the poor thing was sooo hesitant to do anything. She asked every time if it was ok to touch me. I felt for her. I was so thankful when the midwife told me I was 4cm dilated (think she may have called it a little early but I’ll take it!) and that they would move me to one of the birthing rooms. By then it was around midnight, we called Mum and she headed in. The midwife that welcomed us called Lauren and told us she was on her way in too. Things seemed to be happening.
As the contractions continued to come I decided I would give the gas a go. Never in my life have I felt so ridiculously drunk. I hate the feeling of being drunk. Tristan will tell you that the gas didn’t make me sound like an idiot though. I remember telling him that I could hear the music playing in the room in surround sound. I’m sure I said a number of really dumb things. The gas was going ok but because I didn’t get much of a break to breathe the gas out after the contraction before starting again, it made me sick. Like physically ill. I vomited. Everywhere. You know that watery feeling in your mouth you get right before you puke? I had that. But it was between the contractions and I said something along the lines of “there’s water in my mouth” to Tristan but he had no idea what I was saying. So. I just puked. Potato bake and BBQ’d meat everywhere. To tell you it smelt like onion and garlic is an understatement. It was horrible. Poor Lauren threw towels on the ground and scooped up my beautiful mess. I kept apologising but was told “it is part of the job. Don’t worry about it.” Lauren then made the decision that maybe she should put the diffuser on with some lavender just to mask the smell. Good decision Lauren, very smart.
By then, Tristan had been able to get onto my student midwife Regan and she had made her way into the hospital too. I am sooo thankful for both Lauren and Regan and couldn’t have done this without them, but I’ll save my big write up for their own post. Despite it being super early in the morning and I was in a lot of pain, Regan made it such a great environment. She held my hand as the contractions came when both Mum and Tristan weren’t quite quick enough. Sorry for the squashed finger Regan but you took it like a champ. The contractions still continued and I had some morphine but it just didn’t seem to take enough of an edge off for me to be comfortable. I remember Tristan asking me if I had any intention of delivering this baby without an epidural, which after around 7 hours of hard core contractions was an easy answer. Give me that epidural and do it now. Lauren called for the anaesthetist to come and give me the beautiful drug that allowed me some time out.
I was still using the gas when he came in and God I was embarrassing. The gas had me telling him that he definitely wasn’t old enough to be specialised. He was young ok? Well he seemed really young. I’m sure he was old enough and he did a great job at the epidural but that didn’t stop me from asking Mum if she thought he looked old enough. Loud enough for him to hear. What an idiot. But he was great. I think his name was Stephen. AND he managed to get a rather large needle into my back while I was contracting. I remember Regan and Tristan both holding me super still while I was still sucking on the gas and contracting as he moved in. What a champ. Once that baby kicked in it was amazing. I couldn’t feel a thing. Amazing. Life changing.
I think by then I was around 6 or 7cm dialated but the sheer relief from the epi was all I cared about. Watching the monitors, Lauren and Regan noticed that my contractions had started to slow down. Lauren ordered some oxytocin to speed things up a little and we let it do it’s thing. While I wasn’t in an insane amount of pain anymore, I still couldn’t sleep. I tried. Tristan sat there staring at me telling me to close my eyes but I just couldn’t do it. Mum on the other hand…
Hours passed and there didn’t seem to be much happening. Tristan was again starting to get a little skittish. He was worried something was wrong and that I would need to go in for a c-section. Obviously its not what we wanted but whatever we needed to get this girl out was fine. Lauren reassured him that everything was indeed fine and it was the last thing on her mind.
I think it was around 8am on Saturday the 4th of July that Lauren told me I was 10cm dialated. She said that waiting an hour to push would just encourage baby to move down further on her own so we went with that option. I know somewhere around this time, I can’t for the life of me remember if it was before or after but Lauren broke my waters too because they were still intact.
An hour passed and Lauren said that the little smooch was in the perfect position to start pushing. So despite not being able to feel anything under my boobs I pushed. The first couple were rubbish. I couldn’t feel anything and had NO idea what I was trying to do but eventually I got the technique. Well, that’s what Lauren said anything. After a few pushes I remember seeing Lauren’s face and she looked a little stressed. She looked at me and very calmly said that she may need to perform an episiotomy because every time I stopped pushing bubba’s heart rate would drop. Again, if you don’t know what that is I’ll let you Google it again. I told her to do whatever she needed to do, but inside I was telling myself that I would get the baby out.
I was told to push, push, push and push again. Then we rested. Lauren looked somewhat stressed but I couldn’t really hear anything. I guess I was in the zone? It’s weird to think about now but my Momma instincts must have kicked in and I just did it. I don’t remember this part but both Mum and Tristan told me what happened. Lauren told me to push 3 times and had picked up the scissors in between. She got to the point where she said “stop stop stop, little push” trying to control it but by then I had just pushed her out completely and poor Lauren and Regan had to catch her on the way out.
Suddenly I had a tiny human thrown on my chest and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. I know I loved her but I was in too much shock to actually be able to process what had just happened. Mum, Tristan, Regan and Lauren all got very excited as she let out her first cry. I had this gorgeous little person on my chest and I still didn’t know what to do. While Lauren and Regan did their thing I just laid there and looked at her. Tristan and Mum stood around me and looked at the newest family member. Eventually after a while Regan handed Tristan the scissors and he cut the cord. His first Dad act and Mum caught it on camera.
The normal procedures followed with the delivery of the placenta and then checking it to make sure everything was in order. Lauren then had to check me and make sure I was somewhat intact and make sure I didn’t any stitches. She even got another midwife from the hospital in to see if I actually needed them. Unfortunately for me, I needed the stitches and Lauren wasn’t comfortable doing all of them because of their location. I’ll leave out where they were but basically if they weren’t done properly I would be knocking on her door after she took something away from me. Use your imagination and I’m sure you can figure it out. But she had to call in the doctor to stitch me up.
One thing I should have mentioned before was the doctor that was working at the time of my baby’s birth.
Side note: We called our little bundle of joy Ruby Louise Horewood.
FLASH BACK: Because of COVID one of my hospital appointments had turned into a phone appointment. I sat around the house all day waiting for a call and eventually I got a call from Dr Adi Gaur from the Townsville Hospital. He asked me how I had been and said they would contact me again after my next scan. It was short lived but how much can you really go over on the phone. After we hung up I really thought about it. I went to school with an Adi Gaur and I knew he was a doctor and I knew he worked at the Townsville Hospital because I had seen him in the maternity ward once while doing an Easter visit with some students a couple of years ago. So I quickly jumped on Facebook and messaged Adi. I said, “hey, was that you that just called me for my appointment?” He replied not too long after and said something like, “yeah it was! I didn’t realise it was you because of the last name.” I got married so it’s different to when I was at school. We talked briefly about how crazy it was and joked that maybe he would be on while I was in.
Come back to the birthing suite: As change over of the shift happened the morning I gave birth, the doctors that were starting came in to say hi. Low and behold, it was Adi. He basically said, “get the baby out without me and it’ll be great. Obviously if you need me call but otherwise do it yourself.” Which obviously we both would have preferred to happen. And I did. We got the baby out without him, but… I needed stitches. He was the doctor on. Therefore he had to stitch me up.
Poor Adi came into the room and I had my legs up in stirrups. He would have been soo torn. He was trying to act professionally but he had known me all through high school and our parents even knew each other. But bless him, he got on with the job and did what he had to do. I’m sorry you had to see that Adi but cheers for the great stitch job! I’m a pretty carefree person and like to joke about life so as we chatted while he was down there, I made the joke of telling everyone at our 10 year school reunion that he had seen and fixed ALL of me. The poor guy didn’t know what to say, but at least now I’m telling more than just the guys at school. Again, Adi you are the real MVP.
After a few hours and one failed and one successful attempt at a shower I was off to the maternity ward. We said goodbye to Lauren and Regan; the poor ladies looked like they needed to sleep for 100,000 hours. Again, I could not thank those 2 enough. My favourite midwives ever. While I was in the maternity ward you were only allowed to have 2 visitors per day and one at a time, and Tristan counted as a visitor even though he was a support person. Mum went home just before we went to the maternity ward so I said goodbye to her then and then I didn’t see her until the next evening. She came back to the hospital with my step-dad Grant but because she had seen Ruby being born she told him to come into the ward to say hello and hold Ruby. Tristan took Ruby out to the hallway and Mum had a hold then brought her back into the ward and Grant had a cuddle. So COVID meant I didn’t get to see my Mum hold my baby for the first time but at least she got to be there for the birth in the end.
Grant didn’t stay long and Tristan had to go by 8pm; then it was just Ruby and I. I couldn’t believe that it was just the two of us. I was sharing a room with a lady and her 3rd baby but her kid honestly didn’t make a sound the whole night. Ruby on the other hand was SUPER unsettled. I cried quietly to myself as she cried and I heard the lady sigh through the curtain as she tried to sleep. I felt horrible but I didn’t know what I was doing. As Ruby wouldn’t settle, the amazing midwife on the ward at the time took her for a couple of hours so that I could sleep. I think I slept for about an hour then woke up. She came back 2 hours later with a hungry child and I tried all over again. Eventually we both got tired of walking the hallways in the ward and she slept for a couple of hours. I slept for another hour before I could finally message Tristan at 7am, as the visiting hours started again at 8am.
Keep in mind, while this is all happening, my local had worn off and the midwife had to remove my catheter so that I could try and pee on my own. Wow. The feeling of the local wearing off sucked. I had frozen ice bricks in my underwear to try and ease some of the pain. When they tell you to use these in the hospital, do it.
Once Tristan came back into the hospital, we had a chat and I had a shower in the hope that we could go home at some point that day. After my shower they basically talked us over a couple of things, she got checked out and then that was it. They just let us go. With a newborn baby. By ourselves. I still couldn’t believe I had a newborn. I didn’t know what the next few weeks would hold but shit I would find out soon. Our adventure with Ruby Lou had only just started.
Trying Not to Ruin My Child 