While I was pregnant, a lot of my Momma friends (and people that haven’t had kids for that matter) warned me about things that would happen after I had a baby. BUT. There were also a LOT of things that I wasn’t actually prepared for despite being warned. Here’s a list of the things that happened after I had my little bundle of joy that absolutely knocked me for six:
Hormones:
Before having Ruby, I was just about the least emotional person in the world. I don’t cry in movies, in fact I get awkward around people when they cry because I don’t really know what to do. But I tell you what, the hormones that hit me after having my little smoosh were out of this world. People had warned me about the 3 day baby blues but I was just lucky enough to get them on day one. I was a ball of emotions. Crying in the car while I watched Ruby sleep in her car seat. Why? Because she was so cute and I loved her so much. I cried in the shower just because. The first night home Tristan told me that he loved me and I lost it. Sobbing. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I have never felt such emotions.
I remember Tristan laughing at me and telling me that I would be ok. He didn’t know what to expect or when to expect it the poor guy. One second I would be totally fine and the next I would be crying on the couch “just because.” Now these hormones lasted a little longer than I would have preferred. I was pretty tender for quite a while which felt so so wrong.
Just how tired I would be:
Now I know it sounds daft but I was definitely not prepared for how tired I would actually be. People warned me, but seriously. That shit was next level. I didn’t sleep for well over 36 hours. I went into labour in the evening, then stayed up all night, had my baby in the morning and then stayed awake all day and well into the next morning. I was a wreck. Being so tired made every other need disappear. I had no appetite. Both Tristan and my Mum would try and get me to eat but often it just ended in tears from me. No food means no energy. Just a never-ending cycle of fatigue.
Breastfeeding:
I was a little naive when it came to breastfeeding. I just assumed that because it was a natural thing that generally speaking, it would be pretty self-explanatory. How wrong I was. I struggled soooooo hard with breastfeeding. I was lucky enough to be one of those ladies who’s milk came in hella late. It was only after 5+ hours of feeding at a time (ending in tears of course) and a visit from my midwife, that we realised that nothing was really happening. Lauren told me to try pumping every 4 hours if I hadn’t already fed, in the hope that it would come down. Thank God for Lauren because that pumping was just the ticket. I had milk! But it didn’t last long. I really really struggled to make sure I was getting anything. I was even put on Domperidone to try and make sure that my supply stayed put. It hasn’t really worked, but I’m still trying. This shit isn’t for the weak.
How much I would hate my body after birth:
I’ve not been happy with my body for a long time, but things definitely change after carrying a baby around for 9+ months. One of the first things I did after I had Ruby was just down on my stomach and feel how empty it was. It was strange. I could push my hand all the way down towards my back without my baby taking up that space. I didn’t know how to feel but I was definitely feeling a little sad. Nothing felt as bad as a couple of days after the delivery though. I looked at my body in the mirror and hated it. Every thing was different. Every thing seemed to have moved. No matter how many times Tristan told me he still loved me and didn’t care what I looked like, I wasn’t having a bar of it. I still hate my body and really want to make a change, I just need some time.
Baby spotting:
I have only noticed this since having a baby… but it is an unspoken rule that when you walk past another Mum with a pram, you MUST check out the baby in the pram. I never noticed it before! But you better bloody believe I take part in it now. I can’t help myself. Every time I see another pram I will without a doubt make sure I look into that pram to see what the baby looks like. And other Mums do it too. I’ve seen so many women peeking over the edge of the bassinet on my pram to see what Ruby looks like. Let them look, because let’s be honest Roobs is pretty damn cute.
The lack of brain function that I would have:
Wow. That’s all I can say about the lack of brain power I now have. For anyone that has had a conversation with me, I am sorry. The number of times I forget what I’m saying or the names of simple things is a joke. I went into work the other day and I was trying to have a conversation with my boss, but I couldn’t for the life of me string a sentence together. He laughed at me. “I’m glad you still manage to speak like an adult.” Thanks mate, as if I wasn’t struggling enough without you pointing it out. Damn that man aha. But really. I quite often forget names of people that I know really well and can’t finish sentences because I just don’t know what I’m trying to say. Super super frustrating. Baby brain is real. Pray for me.
Trying Not to Ruin My Child 